sometimes...

Today is the only time I'll ever get today. I'll never have the exact same thoughts, feelings, people around me, because everyone I will run into tomorrow will have changed a little bit from today. So... here's the question? Why do I take the time to do stupid things... like sit and mope, or be grumpy, or tired, or... I don't know. Why do I like to sleep in? Sometimes sleep is necessary, but the moments where I'm feeling lazy? I've lost precious hours when I could be awake... fully awake... fully concentrated on living. Sure, living in my apartment, relaxing and watching TV or eating cereal or something, but atleast I'm up and not trapped inside my head on my pillow. Why do I focus on myself? I have me all the time... what can I do that will give someone else a better day? How many people have I missed experiencing and changing just because I wanted to be upset with someone else. I know there comes a point where you don't just let people run all over you... but if everyone lived focused on someone else... where would we be? Everyone would go home with those warm fuzzies because someone else made the extra step to make their day a little bit better.
And I'm not saying go out and buy a Hummer for everyone you meet... (I saw the commercial and it peaked my interest)... but a smile... a hello... a compliment... a hug (if you know them well enough that they won't slug you)... but, why do I focus on me? On what I can get? On what'll make the difference most for me? Because of that stupid selfish nature that everyone's born with. Come on, one of your first words had to have been "mine". We spend our whole lives defining what's ours and what people can't touch and building walls around us to keep anyone from getting in... well, maybe the one thing that's going to make that grumpy, hurting person open up, is if you open up and admit that you're human too. That you get hurt too. That you cry sometimes too. Nobody's perfect. But we're all real.
I don't know... sometimes I wonder.