Captain Shiny Girl and The Near Flood of the Century

It was a normal day for our heroine, Captain Shiny Girl, as she fought crime, battled evil... and drove to work. She got to work the same as every other day after buying the famed Oatmeal Raisin Cookies from none other than... Seven-Eleven.

So, she arrived at work, having not eaten breakfast yet, and sat down to work. Once sitting, our fearless leader discovered her water bottle was empty. So, feeling slightly dehydrated, Captain Shiny Girl brought her water bottle up to the water cooler to receive her daily ration of cold water. ALAS! The water cooler is almost empty! Shock quickly sets in as Captain Shiny Girl realizes the danger involved! With the water situation turning quickly out of control, Mr. Wimpy Arms is sure to show up! And where he goes, mass chaos and panic is sure to follow!

Using her lightning fast skills, Captain Shiny Girl drains the last of the water cooler and goes back to work until lunch. Returning from lunch where she was forced to endure the greasy sliminess that is McDickydoos, she settles on the task of refilling the water cooler.

What does this task entail, you may ask? Well, it means taking the old water bottle off the cooler and replacing it with the new one from the closet. However, no one ever explained to Captain Shiny Girl just how heavy those retarded things are!! She feels a chill come down her spine... the heater shut off. Also, she knows this can only mean one thing. Mr. Wimpy Arms has arrived.

She springs into action and starts rolling the water bottle towards the other room with the water cooler. Mr. Wimpy Arms jumps in the way!

"HA HA!" He exclaims. "I got you now, my pretty! No water for you!!"

Captain Shiny Girl expels some unwanted air from her stomach cavity in the direction of Mr. Wimpy Arms! He jumps back, shocked and slightly appalled, and grossed up because McDickaroanroans is about as yummy belched up as it is going down!

She keeps rolling the water bottle towards the room, well aware Mr. Wimpy Arms will most likely make his final move when she tries to lift the elephant... I mean, water bottle... into the water cooler opening.

Inch by sweated inch, the water bottle approaches the water cooler like a snail towards Jello. Finally!! Success!! Captain Shiny Girl and the water gallon container have made it to the cooler! Captain Shiny Girl bends over and attempts to lift the water bottle thing into the cooler.

Oh no! Not only has Mr. Wimpy Arms arrived, now restored from the smell of her digesting food.... but he's brought Mr. Gravity with him!! What will she do?? She lifts the water bottle slowly, not at all using the correct method for lifting heavy objects. Mr. Wimpy Arms and Mr. Gravity attack! Higher.... Higher.... Almost there.... Well aware she's dripping water everywhere!!

BAM! AAH! What has happened? DId it slip? Is a gallon of water now all over the place, threatening to flood the world as we know it?? No! Captain Shiny Girl has done it! Hurrah!

Wait, what's that? A knock on the door? Who could it be? Ah. It is Mr. Sore Back and Mr. Conscience on the scene to make matters worse. Well, all is well... The water bottle is in its place. Sure, there probably was a better way to do that. Sure, she probably should have just asked for help. But the deed is done, Captain Shiny Girl is hydrated, and another world tragedy has been narrowly averted.

Morale of the story: The double cheeseburger is not as good as it looks.