X-Men 4: Mutants Evolve

Well... have I peeked your interest yet? X-Men 4 comes out soon. Did you know that? Did you know it's not a trilogy? Whatever the word for quadrilogy is, that's what it's going to be. And when does X-Men 4 come out to Winnipeg? May 14, 2006. Yes folks, it does come out before the 3rd one comes out. And only I can supply you with tickets. That's right, I am actually best friends with Storm and Wolverine. What, you thought they were only comic book characters made bigger than life on the big screen? No no. They are my compadres, my amigos, mon amies, my друзья if you will... my friends. The only people like me on this earth. Oh yes, folks, earth is actually populated with mutants. You thought it was all a myth, a bedtime story, a fable, a legend, fiction if you will... a comic book brought to life.

You may be wondering why I'm divulging my secret identity to the world through such a wide-used medium as the Internet? Where of course, the authorities may try and track me down. Well... here's why. Because I'm tired of being dishonest. Lying. Committing perjury. Fibbing. Misstating, if you will... Prevaricating. I've learned two important lessons today. And I'm going to share them with you.

Lesson #1: If, in the event you find yourself wanting to better yourself by learning new words, or in fact, learn words that can be used in the place of other words, www.thesaurus.com is now your new best friend.

Lesson #2: If, in the event you find yourself sitting at home, at your parents' house, having eaten pizza that made you sick, so you decided to have a hot bath to make yourself feel better and then read a book. Then decide that you want some homemade chocolate chip cookies and cold milk, then you're still sitting there... and you realize you're bored out of your mind. Where have your parents gone? You don't know, but wherever they went, it was under the guise of shopping... and they've left you home alone. You have options. You could go keep reading your book. You could clean up your laundry like you were supposed to. You could go make your bed downstairs. You could set the house on fire. You could watch several episodes of "Dark Angel". But what do you decide to do instead? You decide to measure your arm with the measuring tape left carelessly on the kitchen table. What do you discover when you measure your arm with the measuring tape? That your arm is over 2 feet long. 2 FEET. Now, I don't know about you, but if you discovered your arm is over 2 feet long, and you're only 5 and a half feet tall, it's a little bit depressing. Saddening, if you will. Because you discover that your arms, when they hang down, make you feel something akin to Gumby. But how do you console yourself now that you know you're a mutant with freakishly long arms? Well, besides putting them both in slings so that you don't drag your hands on the ground as you walk, you let the entire world know, so they can likewise console as well. It's been nice knowing you all, but I must join the rest of my anomaly friends now and populate the world.