round one goes to the microwave

You can't make candles hastily... Apparently the change in temperature after the microwave leads to the glass shattering. Neat.

playstation is wack

Part 1: longest evening ever

Where to start? Today... more precisely this evening was quite the experience. I started night classes... a night class.. on the Holocaust, so it's bound to be something. But, I determined somewhere around last week that I was going to rollerblade to school.

Rollerblades. They were such a smart investment, you know? It's summer soon, so... What better way to be healthy and what not... ATHLETIC! That's the word I was looking for. Athletic and what not... so I bought them.

Okay let's summarize. I bought rollerblades. I've never gone rollerblading for more than 15 minutes at a friend's house in my entire life. Who's idea was it to rollerblade to my class?? Right.... mine.

So off I went. I was doing good. Until I realized why people rollerblade in parks... and not on sidewalks. Because in the park... there isn't a dip in the sidewalk and a fall off of a very high curb for every driveway and entry into a parking lot. Yup. I discovered a lot of those.

So. While rollerblading, I kept my eyes down. Nope, not depressed... not sad... scanning the turf directly infront of me looking for cracks, rocks, sand, gravel... and my all-time favorite sidewalk that's not directly with the one before it so therefore creating a very small speed bump which turns into an earthquake for me.

Sometimes... Sometimes my eyes were raised! Nope, I'm not casually rollerblading down the sidewalk looking off into the future day-dreaming about life. I'm scanning the horizon for the next curb... Well, specifically the next pole to grab so that I don't get hit by a car flying off the curb.

If you looked really close... and trust me, people were looking... If you looked really close... you could see my lips moving. Not mouthing the words to the newest song piping to my ears with headphones from the latest mp3 player that I bought off ebay. I'm praying. Praying desperately that I don't fall... or fly off a curb and get hit by a car... or fall and get hit by a car.... or... well, you get the picture.

So... off I went. Scanning everything in my peripheral vision to make sure that nothing can touch me... Until up out of nowhere came the hill of the century. Looking back on it now, it probably was the product of some pothole from hell... but, I didn't see it coming. So up one side I went, and down the other side I went... Sounds easy... however it was the down the other side I went part that included a lot more drama, a lot more mumbling under my breath, and flailing of the arms.

Flailing. If I cared enough to change my name, or actually would want to more than just tonight, I'd add the middle name "Flailer" to my name. It's fun to say... It's fun to spell... It epitomizes what today was. Flailing. Every time I came flying off a curb, every time I went flying up the curb... Every time I avoided gravel... Every time I looked anywhere other than down... Pretty much I was flailing a lot.

It gets better I promise... so read part 2.

Part 2: shot down in my prime

Well, you got the point. I was having quite the adventure.

Here's where it got good.

I was doing really well, you know? Yes, flailing and all that, but I was doing it. How many of you were outside yesterday? It was hot. Thing is, I spent about an hour inside before I went out. And it's freezing cold in our living room because we have the air conditioning unit going full blast. So, I was cold. I had a big fuzzy warm hoodie on and jeans and I was still hugging the blanket on the couch. So, for some reason, even though I heard the lady say it was 28 degrees outside, I heard it was some kind of record, I heard all of that. But I was cold! So I thought I'd be fine.

I got off the parking lot and realized it was not going to be fine. I was boiling hot within the first several curbs. So... by the time I was about 7/8 of the way to my class, I was hot. I was sweaty. My face was as red as a lobster... Trouble breathing... Sweat pouring down my back. Luckily for me I was carrying a backpack because I was sure it was so obvious that I was sweating, but atleast the backpack hid a lot of it.

So... almost there. Until the unthinkable happened. The hill from hell. I know. We met the bump from hell... well, this one was quite large. And you've got to give me credit for thinking ahead (because of course I was scanning ahead) that the end of this hill was not going to be fun. Not only was it super steep, super bumpy, and not straight... the sidewalk ended in the driveway into a very popular parking lot which I could see up ahead there were cars driving across... And there was no pole for me to entangle myself on.

Problem, yes? I was already on a non-stop tilt down the scary hill towards the oncoming traffic and I reached panic-mode. So, what I did was try and slow down on the grass in the ditch.

The ditch... Well, I did slow down... I stopped. That's right, I fell. A good fall too, I must say. My first fall as a new rollerblader. Yup. Down I went. My feet found the grass, my body found the pavement. Yeah, I was really appreciative for that... Quite the fall. I scraped up my hands and I landed quite hard on one side.

But being the smart person that I am, I thought... what better spot to put my shoes on then right here! So anyone driving by a millisecond later, it looked like I had planned this spot to put my shoes on. Bench, ledge, chair? That's kids play. I choose the ground to put my shoes on.

So... I had to walk the last 5 minutes to my class, carrying my rollerblades. To anyone else, clearly I looked like the most athletic person going... Like I always rollerbladed to school. If anyone looked really close though they'd see my face dripping with sweat and red like.. like something bright red.

I finally made it to my building and limped up the stairs.. and discovered that my class had been moved. To where? I didn't know, because the room was a room I'd never heard of before. I asked the nearest stranger if he knew where it was, but he looked like he was trying to get away from me as fast as possible... I then started worrying that maybe my sweat had now formed a smell and was emanating through my BIG BULKY sweater.

Finally, this chick, who turned out to be my teacher, told me it was the Engineering building... More importanly, the AIR CONDITIONED building. I made a friend on the way to the building because she was staring at the class change paper just as I had a few minutes earlier.

So... we walked to our class together. When we got inside, I of course bee-lined it for the back because I knew as soon as I peeled my backpack off my back, then it was going to be quite obvious how sweaty I was... but my new friend headed for the second row of chairs. Do I take off to the back and cool off in silence? No, I want a friend. A study buddy, if you will... so I followed.

And as soon as I got my backpack off and the cold air hit, I knew my back had to be sweaty. So I plastered myself against the back of my chair for the rest of the class. So there I was... boiling hot, red-faced, and sweaty, trying to catch my breath... and wipe the sweat off my face. But every time I nonchalantly tried to hide the fact I was drying off my face, this chick beside me would turn to say something. I'm sure in her head she was thinking, "All these years since high school, and yet, I still manage to sit next to the sweaty kid."

But the class was really good! I'm looking forward to it... I mean, it's on the Holocaust so it won't be light.. but I think it'll be good.

Last funny story for today. I walked out of the building with several of my classmates, and since my pain had subsided into a dull ache, I thought, hey! I'll rollerblade home! So I sat down on the stairs and started to put them on, banking on the fact that while these people were walking away thinking about how athletic I was, they wouldn't be there when I performed my comedic act that is getting off the ground.

Long story short... I sat on the stairs for a bit wondering how I was going to get up... Because the stairs were low enough that I couldn't push myself up. I considered inching sideways until I got to the wall, but people were walking by. That would be slightly obvious. So, I kneeled on the stairs and stuck my posterior in the air and pushed upwards and with a lot of flailing, bending, and moving, I got up and off the ground. And promptly started rolling down the hill that was the cement pad I was on. I tried to make it look like I had planned it, up, off and away! But the flailing panic kind of gave me up.

I made it home though. Slowly, somewhat painfully, and atleast the sun went down so it was less sweaty... but I made it home. One for me!

the effects of caffeine on a spider

i'm pretty.

Myspace post again:

Hello... I have a confession to make. Well, here's a little preview to the confession. I'm going to the University of Manitoba this year... and for many years to come. I'm going to get my Bachelor of Science in Psychology, and then go into Medical School to become a doctor. Pediatrics or Obstetrics (children or babies), I haven't decided which one yet. Anyways, that's a lot of school and it'll cost a lot of money.

So, today... I was walking through University Centre towards Subway... which is another habit I'll have to cut out because I can't afford to eat at school all the time. Anyways, I was also talking on the phone.... and as I was walking... (Okay picture with me... I'm on my phone, I'm limping... which once I start physio will slowly become less of a thing I do. The limping, not the phone.)

Anyways, so I was looking at the ground while I was walking and I saw a dime. It was right outside Tim Hortons, and I saw it, but because I can't just kneel down and pick it up because my knee won't do that yet, and because I was on the phone and carrying a backpack... I couldn't just lean down and get it either because that's a whole other balancing act... So I started kicking the dime in front of me.

Which worked well until it hit the first tile and started rolling. So picture me, on my phone, limping, with a backpack, following a dime across the floor. Now, my once purposeful walk has turned into a meandering path of circles following this dime... until after walking through two groups of people's conversations, I finally dropped my backpack and picked up the dime and put in my pocket. But the funny looks, I tell ya... I felt like yelling at them, I'm going to med school so THIS MATTERS!

I may frame the dime to record this rather unflattering moment in my history as a doctor... so later on, when I'm driving a Ferrari and making millions and delivering babies and giving to the church (that comes first)... then that dime will make me smile... and make me feel so happy that I'm finally done school.

of mice and elevators

If you also read my myspace, don't read this, because it's the same:

Yup, folks. I have found it. From the deep dark corners of your nightmares, comes... the scariest elevator known to man. It's on campus. For those of you who aren't sure, I go to the U of M and currently am on crutches. Well, not this exact second, I'm relaxing on the couch, but at school, I'm on crutches. I have many funny stories about people vs. my crutches, but this is about the elevator.

Okay, so this elevator. When you push the button, nothing happens for a while. Then, this horrible screeching sound and a kind of grinding rumbles through the elevator doors that kind of makes your insides move like really loud bass does at a concert.

Then it's quiet. And you wonder what the heck happened to the elevator. And then, out of nowhere like a horror movie, the doors pop open. And reveal a really dark elevator with a very odd orangish light that really doesn't do a good job of illuminating anything.

But because I'm on crutches, I had to get in the elevator. And I did, and the doors slammed shut just as abruptly as they opened. And I had a moment of panic... you know that moment when something relatively scary is happening and your insides decide to hug each other. Anyways, I pushed the button for the 2nd floor and then the noise started again, but we weren't moving. And the elevator kept making the noise, and I considered whether anyone has died from the elevator only plunging a floor.

Trick is, the elevator was actually moving... I think it wasn't actually as slow as it was, I think it made the noise just to scare people, and then it whips you up to the 2nd floor at the last second before the doors spring open. Anyways, if you're into making movies, go to that elevator.