i have nothing creative to put here today

You ever have one of those days? I'm having one of those days right now. When you're feeling a little overwhelmed, slightly under the weather (but I'm getting better from fighting strep throat), and you're tired. The world seems a little bit heavier today than it did yesterday, I don't know. But right now, I wish I was 5 and I could go hide somewhere behind something. Because that was the best part of hide-n-seek. Even my niece who's 5 now, she loves that game... even though she giggles so loud from her hiding spot that you have to pretend that somehow she may be in the washing machine ten times so that it prolongs how long it takes to find her... but the most anticipated part. Being found. I would love to run away and hide... but the problem with that is, I take me with me. Not just me, all my stuff. And I don't have a lot of huge stuff. But all that extra friend stuff, the issues with them stuff, family stuff, STUFF stuff, decisions stuff... too much caffeine stuff... (i'm doing better with that) all the stuff... it comes with too. Because at the end of the day, it's only my brain I'm trying to shut up before I go to sleep. So, to no one else than God right now... God, I'm going to go hide under my covers in my bed and talk to you. Please come find me.

the greatest conundrum of all time...

So, there I was. Faced with the most confusing obstacle of all time. Standing there, wondering... Why, when Safeway opens at 12 pm on Sundays, are all these people here already at 11:45? They literally were standing there.... waiting... in line. Already. They had to have known that Safeway only opens at 12. Because they looked like they'd done this before. But there they were, slowly, filtering into the little lobby place with all the carts... and waiting.

I realized however that there's more than one stage of this lunacy. The first level of lunacy are those who wait in their cars. They sit there, with their cars idling, waiting. Even though they fully know that Safeway opens at 12. They sit and wait. Why didn't they leave their houses later? What is so special about getting there right as it opens? Does the store have a freshly-opened smell when you get there right at 12? Are the staff more helpful? Is there a secret stash of Kraft Dinner that runs out in 5 minutes of the store opening?

I have no idea. The second level of lunacy are the people that wait outside. Even though they could be inside, they wait outside. And they laugh at the people inside. They say things like, "Like it's going to open any faster if you stand near the door." Because somehow, standing outside in the cold and waiting makes you less of a lunatic than the people inside, warm and cozy.

The highest level. The one that your parents don't tell you about when you're growing up. The one that they keep off the evening news so there isn't a world-wide panic. The people who wait by the door. They're there while employees are still showing up for work. They're there reading the coupon newspaper and scouting for great deals. They're there... waiting. Peering into through the windows, wondering when the door will open. One guy, I swear, was there from about 12:40 on. 20 minutes!!

I know this... because I was also standing there. BUT! I have a perfectly legitimate excuse. I parked my car in the Safeway parking lot at about 12:40 and then walked across the parking lot to the Starbucks and bought a coffee. Little did I know, but that takes less time than I thought it does to make a White Chocolate Mocha... so there I was, standing inside the lobby at Safeway at 12:45... watching the people pour in. They even eventually formed a line, some of them, incase there was a mad rush in Safeway, atleast we knew who was going to be first. Except for the kind lady who opened the door opened the other door without the line first and I got in before all the other crazies. (Hee hee)

Maybe then, Safeway is like the great equalizer of life. Forcing people to wait. Forcing them to stand in a group. Become a part of something. I felt like leading them in a group song or something. We all knew it opened at 12. And yet... we were all there early. Sniff. That's a moment, right there.

TRAPPED in my own home. Hmm... that's a good movie

I'm trapped at home right now, because my body is taking it's time getting over a viral infection. So, I spend the days watching TV... movies... and sleeping. I think I'm sleeping more now than when I was a baby. But, I've watched some movies... and I'm running out of options now that I haven't seen already. I also learned that "Meet Joe Black" is the LONGEST movie in the entire world. Sorry, Brad Pitt, but it was really long. Anyways, if you guys have any suggestions for good movies... let me know.

I just watched "Two For The Money" and "Lord of War", and I have to admit, "Two For The Money" was really, really good.

one of those wow moments

I don't usually post songs... but this one hit me like a rock and I just about cried. The chorus especially, so if you get a chance listen to it. I had a wow moment with God just now... and I'm completely resting in His arms right now. I can't explain right now why I need to (too long), however I know I'm resting in Him right now and He's holding me. I'm very much in love with my God.

Let It All Out-Relient K

Let it all out
Get it all out
Rip it out
Remove it
Don't be alarmed
When the wound begins to bleed

Cause we're so scared to find out
What this life's all about
So scared we're going to lose it
Not knowing all along
That's exactly what we need

And today I will trust you with confidence
Of a man who's never known defeat
But tomorrow, upon hearing what I did
I will stare at you in disbelief
Oh inconsistent me
Crying out for consistency

And you said I know that this will hurt
But if I don't break your heart
Then things will just get worse
If the burden seems too much to bear
Remember the end will justify
The pain it took to get us there

And I'll let it be known
At time I have shown
Signs of all my weakness
But somewhere in me
There is strength

And you promise me
That you believe
In time I will defeat this
Cause somewhere in me
There is strength

And today I will trust you with the confidence
Of a man who's never known defeat
And I'll try my best to just forget
That that man isn't me (2x)

Reach out to me
Make my heart brand new
Every beat will be for you
For you

And I know you know
You touched my life
When you touched my heavy heart
And made it light

I laugh in the face of responsibility... actually, nausea is more the feeling.

NOT FOR THE FAINT OF HEART!!

Well, for those of you that don't know... I had my left ear pierced in the cartilage up top... in December. Yup, I was excited. I'd always wanted to get it pierced again, since 2 years ago when I pierced the other ear up there... which then proceeded to pull a Quebec and swell off the side of my head and form its own country. So, I took that earring out and eventually got my ear back.

After this experience I was determined that the next time I got my cartilage pierced, it would be a keeper. So armed with only sheer determination, I went and got Katie to pierce my ear. (Don't worry, Katie's a trained professional. She works at a jewellery store.) Anyways, so it hurt a little bit, itched a bit more, but I was prepared. They had given this special bottle of disinfectant. I would have the cleanest pierced ear known to man.

Ah yes, the first few days were beautiful... as I learnt how to cup my hand just right so I could still sleep on my left side without excruciating pain radiating off my ear. Awesome! Super! I applied the disinfectant pretty much every time I was anywhere near the bathroom... (which didn't happen that often because I'm never home... but it happened!) But still, I made an outstanding effort the apply the disinfectant and keep that ear from repeating what the other one did.

Awesome. All is well. My ear was doing fine! Still hurting when some well-meaning person would give me a really tight hug... thus pushing my ear against my skull and causing that tiny little stud to rotate sideways and rip the top part of my ear off. It was always hard to pull out of those hugs and not want to slaughter the person... "Oh yes... (teeth gritting) it's so good to see you too!!!" But I hung in there.

I must admit though... that the applications of disinfectant slowly became less and less... dwindling, I'm ashamed to admit, to none. But my ear was fine!! It didn't really hurt! And plus, pain is normal with piercing your cartilage of your ear... with piercing anything in fact! Heck, some people said that it took them 6 months before they could fully sleep on their left side without the tried and true cupping technique. Surely I could hold out 6 months.

Surely...

Well, all was well until about a few weeks ago... I started noticing a little more of an increasing pain. Bah, I scoffed, it was fine... just healing. I didn't have to take the time to look at in the mirror!! Why should I?? Pain is normal. Ha! I laugh in the face of pain.

Ha... So. Two nights ago I was watching TV and happened to turn to the person next to me because I'd been fingering my ear for the past couple minutes and something didn't feel right. Hmmm, I thought... Ah yes, the person agreed with me... there was an odd bump. Now trying to watch TV while flashbacks of Katie saying, "yeah when I got mine done, the skin almost grew over it twice." echoing in my head... I was not scoffing as loud anymore.

Don't think about it!! NO! All is well in Earville. But maybe... just maybe... I'll take a little peek. Tomorrow. So, I waited until yesterday morning to finally look at the incriminating evidence that possibly... not all was well with mine ear. I looked... some odd swelling in the back. Well, perhaps if I just take off the backing of the ear and apply some Holy Disinfectant, then all will be fine and dandy once again. WELL. When I finally painfully took the backing off the earring.... to my dismay I discovered an odd black goopy gump of something attached to it. Slightly horrified that this was coming off my person, I cleaned it. Then... an oddly non-familiar feeling of nausea swept over me and I had to sit down on the toilet seat for a second so I wouldn't throw up.

What was this? Me, all-strong, all-powerful ME had a problem with something physical?? This, the person that could watch any reality TV ER series with blood and guts and gore with an unreal fascination was getting grossed out by my own ear?? Nah. Let's get back up and keep peering at my purple ear. Hmmm... that's an odd bump my ear has poked out. Hmmm... that's an odd passing out feeling that caused me to sit back down again. What the heck!! I can handle this!! Gosh!! So... gritting my teeth and swallowing saliva, I stood back up and tried to apply disinfectant to the back of my ear where the skin had started to grow up along the shaft of the earring.. causing a little mountain of skin to form on the back of my ear. Sick. So, while rubbing the Q-tip soaked with wonder juice on the back of my ear while the backing was off was all well and good... it also caused the earring to start to slip frontways out of my ear. So, not thinking, I just pushed it back in. Yup, that feeling alone... of the earring going back into the infection was enough to make me see stars. I took the earring out, placed it with it's backing, and just about made it to my bed.

I had to lie there for a good five minutes, rubbing my stomach before I finally convinced myself I wasn't going to pass out or hurl chunks. I got nauseous from my own infected earring! So folks... it's official. I don't have any earring on the top of my ear... the 5 I have on my two lobes are going to have to be sufficient. But I'm thinking... if I'm not keeping the piercing... maybe I should get a tattoo.

HAPPY GROUNDHOG DAY! Wait... that is today, right?

Okay folks... the plans are slowly falling into place that I'm going on a roadtrip to Edmonton March 1 - 5. Going to go see Booy and my cousin Matt who lives out there... and the West Edmonton Mall!! and Ikea. Hopefully in that order! I'm excited! Becca's going to go with me hopefully as well... if she can get off work. So, I'm hoping and praying all goes well. I've been wanting to travel for a while. And I know it's not huge... but it's something! It's Edmonton. Not Italy or Iceland... but it's fun! It's not here! (I like here don't get me wrong.) But I like going places! So I'm excited that we can go... hopefully. AAAH! Well, it's less than a month away. With this new job that I got, the pay is more and I have more hours. So, it's reduced the times I go out. So, I save a lot more money right now! It's beautiful! I've already saved enough money for gas... so now whatever I save after this is all towards FUN. Just had to share that with someone... that I'm excited. And hoping it all turns out awesome.