нападение моли

She gets out of her car, wary. Watching. Eyes darting back and forth, ever looking at her surroundings. Will they get her? Will they know she's here? She feels very vulnerable to attack right now, knowing they could come at any time.

She slowly steps away from her car, making sure it's locked. Good, it is. Now, the walk to the front door. Will they find her? What can she do? She's wide open to the enemy. She darts back and forth, doing a one-two step and then breaks into a full-out run, looking up to make sure they can't see her.

Breathing heavily, she makes it to the front door and can't find her keys fast enough. She fumbles with them, panicking as she can't find the stupid first key!! Where is it??!! Success! She finds it, fiddles with the lock, and flings open the door and runs into the house, slamming the door shut behind her and locking it.

Phew. One more day of avoiding... the worms. I hate them with a passion. And, according to someone of great wisdom, they turn to moths. So, just think, as you're dodging them while you walk, as you're being disgusted at their poop on your car, as you're checking your clothes once you get in the house... they're baby moths in training.

This photo is the "Pulitzer Prize" winnning photo taken in 1994 during the Sudan famine. The picture depicts a famine stricken child crawling towards a United Nations food camp, located a kilometer away.

The vulture is waiting for the child to die so that it can eat it.

This picture shocked the whole world. No one knows what happened to the child, including the photographer Kevin Carter who left the place as soon as the photograph was taken. Three months later, Kevin Carter comitted suicide due to depression.

This was found in his diary: Dear God, I promise I will never waste my food no matter how bad it can taste and how full I may be. I pray that He will protect this little boy, guide and deliver him away from his misery. I pray that we will be more sensitive towards the world around us and not be blinded by our own selfish nature and interests. I hope this picture will always serve as a reminder to us that how fortunate we are and that we must never ever take things for granted.

I love this!!

INSTRUCTIONS FOR GIVING YOUR CAT A PILL

1. Pick cat up and cradle it in the crook of your left arm as if holding a baby. Position right forefinger and thumb on either side of cat's mouth and gently apply pressure to cheeks while holding pill in right hand. As cat opens mouth, pop pill into mouth. Allow cat to close mouth and swallow.

2. Retrieve pill from floor and cat from behind sofa. Cradle cat in left arm and repeat process.

3. Retrieve cat from bedroom, and throw soggy pill away. Take new pill from foil wrap, cradle cat in left arm holding rear paws tightly with lef hand. Force jaws open and push pill to back of mouth with right forefinger. Hold mouth shut for a count of 10.

4. Retrieve pill from goldfish bowl and cat from top of wardrobe. Call spouse from garden.

5. Kneel on floor with cat wedged firmly between knees, holding front and rear paws. Ignore low growls emitted by cat. Get spouse to hold cat's head firmly with one hand while forcing wooden ruler into mouth. Drop pill down ruler and rub cat's throat vigorously.

6. Retrieve cat from curtain rail, get another pill from foil wrap. Make note to buy new ruler and repair curtains. Carefully sweep shattered figurines from hearth and set to one side for gluing later.

7. Wrap cat in large towel and get spouse to lie on cat with its head just visible from below spouse's armpit. Put pill in end of drinking straw, force cat's mouth open with pencil and blow down drinking straw.

8. Check label to make sure pill not harmful to humans, drink glass of water to take taste away. Apply band-aid to spouse's forearm and remove blood from carpet with cold water and soap.

9. Retrieve cat from neighbor's shed. Get another pill. Place cat in cupboard and close door onto neck to leave head showing. Force mouth open with dessert spoon. Flick pill down throat with elastic band.

10. Fetch screwdriver from garage and put door back on hinges. Apply cold compress to cheek and check records for date of last tetanus shot. Throw T-shirt away and fetch new one from bedroom.

11. Ring fire brigade to retrieve cat from tree across the road. Apologize to neighbor who crashed into fence while swerving to avoid cat. Take last pill from foil wrap.

12. Tie cat's front paws to rear paws with garden twine and bind tightly to leg of dining table. Find heavy duty pruning gloves from shed. Force cat's mouth open with small spanner. Push pill into mouth followed by large piece of fillet steak. Hold head vertically and pour 1/2 pint of water down throat to wash pill down.

13. Get spouse to drive you to emergency room; sit quietly while doctor stitches fingers and forearm and removes pill remnants from right eye. Stop by furniture shop on way home to order new table.

14. Arrange for vet to make a housecall.

scene at the movies recently...

Get it? Scene? Seen? Get that?? See the word play?? I'm a genius. Just joking, I'm being a nerd right now.

Anyways, I've seen two movies in theatres in the past 4 days, which is amazing for me, let me tell you. So that's fun!! What are they and how were they, you just asked? Well, thanks for asking, here's what I thought.

RV -> It was a funny movie. Robin Williams definitely had his moments in the movie. I laughed quite a bit. It's also filled with the physical humor, like biking down a mountain side and driving an RV off a cliff... stuff like that, that I personally don't find extremely funny, but that's my sense of humor. If you've seen "Failure to Launch", then when Matthew McConaughey's character gets bit by that lizard while climbing the cliff... that I didn't really find side-splitting hilarious either. But, it's a good family movie, good times had by some.

Poseidon -> Now, I saw this movie with my friend Katie, who's incredibly smart and critical of movies. So, while I was nail-biting and cringing in my seat because I was super tense, she was like, well, that was cheesy. I get into movies, though, what can I say? Especially when they're action thrillers. Then, I'm on the edge of my seat. It was like the time I watched "Day After Tomorrow" and had to call someone to be with me on the phone while I turned the lights on in my apartment because I was too freaked out to do it alone. So, anyways, Poseidon is really good, reminded me a bit of Titanic when everyone's drowning. But it was really good, I thought. The ending could've stood for a little more creativity, but beyond that, it was good. And Richard Dreyfuss was in the movie playing an odd character for him, so that was entertaining too.

X-Men 4: Mutants Evolve

Well... have I peeked your interest yet? X-Men 4 comes out soon. Did you know that? Did you know it's not a trilogy? Whatever the word for quadrilogy is, that's what it's going to be. And when does X-Men 4 come out to Winnipeg? May 14, 2006. Yes folks, it does come out before the 3rd one comes out. And only I can supply you with tickets. That's right, I am actually best friends with Storm and Wolverine. What, you thought they were only comic book characters made bigger than life on the big screen? No no. They are my compadres, my amigos, mon amies, my друзья if you will... my friends. The only people like me on this earth. Oh yes, folks, earth is actually populated with mutants. You thought it was all a myth, a bedtime story, a fable, a legend, fiction if you will... a comic book brought to life.

You may be wondering why I'm divulging my secret identity to the world through such a wide-used medium as the Internet? Where of course, the authorities may try and track me down. Well... here's why. Because I'm tired of being dishonest. Lying. Committing perjury. Fibbing. Misstating, if you will... Prevaricating. I've learned two important lessons today. And I'm going to share them with you.

Lesson #1: If, in the event you find yourself wanting to better yourself by learning new words, or in fact, learn words that can be used in the place of other words, www.thesaurus.com is now your new best friend.

Lesson #2: If, in the event you find yourself sitting at home, at your parents' house, having eaten pizza that made you sick, so you decided to have a hot bath to make yourself feel better and then read a book. Then decide that you want some homemade chocolate chip cookies and cold milk, then you're still sitting there... and you realize you're bored out of your mind. Where have your parents gone? You don't know, but wherever they went, it was under the guise of shopping... and they've left you home alone. You have options. You could go keep reading your book. You could clean up your laundry like you were supposed to. You could go make your bed downstairs. You could set the house on fire. You could watch several episodes of "Dark Angel". But what do you decide to do instead? You decide to measure your arm with the measuring tape left carelessly on the kitchen table. What do you discover when you measure your arm with the measuring tape? That your arm is over 2 feet long. 2 FEET. Now, I don't know about you, but if you discovered your arm is over 2 feet long, and you're only 5 and a half feet tall, it's a little bit depressing. Saddening, if you will. Because you discover that your arms, when they hang down, make you feel something akin to Gumby. But how do you console yourself now that you know you're a mutant with freakishly long arms? Well, besides putting them both in slings so that you don't drag your hands on the ground as you walk, you let the entire world know, so they can likewise console as well. It's been nice knowing you all, but I must join the rest of my anomaly friends now and populate the world.

the epitome of tired

What's that, you may ask... Have you ever gotten so tired that everything seems huge. I trekked out to Winkler last night and am staying here until the end of Mother's Day... so here I am. Watching Season 4 of Gilmore Girls, (which, when my roommates realize I took home with me for the weekend will not be impressed, but it's mine so they can't complain. I also took the computer, so ha ha! I felt sort of bad for a bit, but not anymore.) Well, anyways, so, there I am watching episode after episode with my parents and it was great! And I was getting grumpy and tired. And so, on the way down the stairs to my room, I was carrying everything I could possibly need that night because I didn't want to make another trip. Stairs are a lot harder when you're tired, and I didn't want to go anywhere once I hit downstairs. I've also been fighting a cold, however, and I think my body was a little feverish so everything of course is worse than too... Long story short, I managed to slosh water everywhere down the stairs because in order to keep my balance and hold all my stuff, I had to fling my outstretched arm about and ironically enough, that was the arm connected to the hand holding the glass of water.

But, today is a new day. I'm still tired. I still want to meet Hugh Laurie. And now I'm going to watch Gilmore Girls.

the art of war...

Also known as the art of feeding a baby. Being the extra staff yesterday I got the job of feeding the baby. I have no problems with that. I love babies. This baby was about 10 months old, so around the age that they start to have a very defined personality. So the little girl is placed infront of me in her highchair, eyes wide. No smiles. Just staring. And I got a little nervous. But the first spoonful or two was great, even though it stank. But it was going well and I was only getting the 'I don't know you' look, not the 'I’m going to start screaming because I don't know you' look. It was going good. She was just staring at me.

So I keep feeding her and do an amazing job looking all professional. Then the fingers started. A spoon would go in and then the fingers. And we were doing well without a bib and everything but with the fingers going in the mouth after the spoon there was maximum spillage that I had to dive-bomb with the spoon to get before it hit her shirt. I only missed one globule that did leave a mess, but hey... she's a baby.

So, for a while all was well. She just sat there staring at me, and I kept spooning the food in between fingers and she kept staring at me like I had 3 heads. So it was great. I was feeding her this food that smelt rather disgusting, as most randomly put together foods do in baby food… but, I fed her the stuff and when the other staff came in and made her cry because then she realized I wasn’t the normal staff with her and the other one should clearly take her out of the highchair, I switched to apple. Who doesn’t love apple? I love apple baby food, actually all fruit flavors except for banana. I lived off baby food for a day. (don’t ask why, it was a weird week.) So, we were doing good, she was then eating the fruit baby food.

But then the distractions started. First she discovered the designs on the highchair seat part. Who knew that suns and moons and trees or whatever was on there would be so amazing, but they were. and the greatest part was in between sticking her fingers in her mouth, when they'd come out and I’d try and get the spoonful of food in, she'd decide right at the exact moment to whip her head around to see if the moon was still there. Yup, good. Still there, so while she had her head turned, I’d shovel food in.

Then the ceiling got interesting as well. So not only are there fingers and the moon, now the ceiling fan has started making squeaky noises (which made me nervous because it was on and whirring around and making noises and I always am afraid that when fans start squeaking, that they're going to come off and go whipping around the room.) But the baby thought the fan was the greatest thing ever... so now the head's all tilted back and the hands are waving around making it impossible to aim directly at her mouth. I’d have to go in for the quick shovel, in between the hands, and then down quickly. Except for the one time she decided that I was interesting really fast after the ceiling fan and the food went from her mouth onto the highchair table. That one was actually funny, so it was okay.

So I got up to get a cloth from the kitchen sink. Only gone a few seconds. Yup. Guess what happened. The other staff (who we'll call Grumpy for the sake of this story) gave the baby a toy. AAAAHHH. At first I thought that was a super idea, you know? Great, something to distract her eyes and hands so she'll stay focused and still. But no. She decided that the ceiling fan and the sun on her highchair had to know she had a toy so she's whipping back and forth with the toy showing the universe, hands waving. Ah yes, at this point she discovered the toy was a rattle and made noise.

Well, all hell broke loose then. The poor petrified food on the spoon, diving through the air on a spoon, dipping under hands, around the crazy toy, through slimy fingers and into the mouth that never stayed still for more than a second. It was nuts.

But I got that baby fed. Both bowls of yuck and fruit were eaten, and hardly any got on her shirt. I felt really proud of myself. The other staff didn't seem as proud of my accomplishments, but proceeded to inform me that the baby ate great for her all the time and usually wasn't like this. Great, I feel much better now. But I remembered that I’d done a good job and the baby even laughed at me one time when I made a funny noise trying to bend down to pick up the helpful rattle that she flung. So, all in all, I thought the day would be a success.

Until they brought the other baby down from upstairs...